Who am I, What are you

Journey Into Being

One afternoon after reading a particularly touching section of “The Power of Now,” by Eckhart Tolle, I laid down to meditate. Feeling extremely relaxed, I drifted off to sleep. The most powerful and meaningful dream came to me.

First I was in an apartment with a group of strangers. We were eating all kinds of food… Cook Out, fruit, chocolate, etc. Then, we were hanging out on the balcony, and later sitting on the roof. At some point we started to float up from the rooftop, as if on a journey to heaven. I remember my body and others floating up through the air in anticipation of what was next to come. Eventually we became surrounded by clouds. 

Next, the scenery changed. I suddenly was in a Discovery Zone of slides and chutes, all dark as night, but not the least bit intimidating. I remember feeling almost careless, like the weight of the world had been lifted from my body. There was a sense of adventure in the atmosphere as I slid down each slide. I went deeper into what lied beyond, further and further away from where I started. It felt good. There were teams, but no one was competing. As I got to the base, we were all taking turns getting past the last obstacle, a giant rock wall. As I finally climbed over onto the other side, I saw that there was a mansion, waiting to be explored. It was a pristine, newly designed home that my family had somehow just been gifted. It felt like we had all won the lottery. There was even a lady guiding a tour, and everything looked nice and expensive. 

I don’t remember exactly what happened as I walked through the rooms, but I do remember this: Seeing my cousin, happy and full of love for what seemed to be the first time in her life. I hugged her, and as I did, this intense feeling of God-like love poured into my very soul like melted gold. It filled me with joy and happiness I had never felt, and I sensed it was actually myself who I was embracing. Then it was over.

I woke up feeling that same intense love, like a baby coddled in God’s arms. I laid in bed analyzing one of the most vivid dreams I have ever remembered.

And for the remainder of the afternoon, I believe I had a taste of enlightenment.

As I got ready to go out into the day, there was a feeling of calmness surrounding me. It wasn’t until I walked outside that I realized how different everything seemed. I felt light, like I was floating on a cloud. I got into my car and decided against the radio. A first for me. Later, after I decided to turn it on again, there wasn’t any of the usual criticism to the songs being played by the station DJ. I didn’t respond to the music with judgement or opinion, it was just playing. That’s how I know I have an ego attachment to music. I was too content marveling at sunlight reflecting off trees to care about it.

The real eye-opener for me came when I pulled into Super Walmart. I literally felt as though I was in the world, not of the world any longer. Normally it was a place where judgement and criticism flooded my thoughts.. building the fake me up, tricking myself into thinking I was better, giving my ego something to feel good about. I walked into the crowd of people with a carelessness I haven’t experienced since. I was happy to be at Walmart, HAPPY.. swimming in a sea of being, riding a palpable wave of consciousness. Enjoying each minute interaction, I realized for the first time what our creator had meant relationships to be like. Selfless. Loving. My ever-present, irrational anxiety was a missing piece in this beautiful puzzle. I did not search for it; I somehow knew there was a delicate balance to be kept between being and thinking. I did my best not to disturb this newfound equilibrium, but it could not go on forever. What goes up must come down, and slowly but surely unconsciousness crept it’s way back in, pulling me back down to the Earth with it. 

I am so grateful for that day, I had never felt such a love before in my life. I believe my experience was something akin to spiritual awakening, or at least the closest I could come to it. I hope to get back there someday, whether in dreams, or reality.